Being a bi male in today’s society is still a source of confusion and misinformation for most. The sad fact is, despite sexuality very much being a spectrum that can shift and evolve as a person grows into themselves, being bisexual is still stigmatized. The reason behind the intense stigmatization is the lack of helpful information provided to the public about male sexuality, and the idea that if a man sleeps with another man that he is immediately gay and couldn’t possibly be attracted to women.
As wrong as this line of thinking is, it is a stereotype that has been perpetuated by every form of media currently seeping into the American psyche. When women explore their sexuality with other women, it is revered as “sexy” by men. When men want to explore with other men, they are forever branded as a homosexual.
When I first came out of the closet, I thought telling people I was bi would ease them into the idea that I found men appealing. In reality all it did was make women confused by me and the other boys in my grade skeptical. I wanted to know if men who are actually bi still face this stigma as grown adults in 2016, so I asked 10 of them about how women reacted to them being bisexual and their answers will surprise you.
“Most girls act cool with it at first then turn into jealous nightmares. The last girl I dated acted fine with it for months, then when I started going out without her she would panic. It sucked because literally everyone I talked to seemed like a threat to her. It didn’t matter if it was a guy or a girl, she was pissed.” – Eli, 28.
“The first girl I told was really into it. She wanted to get crazy in the bedroom with bi three ways between me and her best guy friend. It was probably the most fun few months of my life.” – Paul, 28.
“I finally told my girlfriend of a year that I was bi and she freaked out. She said she couldn’t understand why I would be attracted to her and still be attracted to guys. It completely ruined our relationship when we were on the fast-track to marriage.” – James, 32.
“Every girl I’ve told has been extremely cool with it. Most just laugh and tell me it doesn’t matter, but the few girls who have had a problem with it think I’m a sex fanatic.” – Carl, 32.
“The last girl I told didn’t take it so well. She left the date and texted me later with information about our neighborhood’s sex addicts anonymous meeting. It is so frustrating how people assume if you’re bi you’re just selfishly trying to have a lot of sex.” – Oliver, 25.
“The first girl I told automatically assumed I was cheating on her with a bunch of guys. I tried to explain to her that just because I’m attracted to both genders doesn’t mean I don’t believe in respect and monogamy, but she was too nervous about me being unfaithful to her that she broke it off.” – Marc, 29.
“My girlfriend didn’t care when I told her, except that now she’ll ask my opinion on celebrity guys she thinks are cute, or if we’re out she’ll ask me if certain guys are my “type” if anything it’s allowed us to be way more open and honest with each other.” Christopher, 27.
“My ex-girlfriend always had an issue with it. I would talk to a guy and she would assume I was trying to flirt with them, and she would always make backhanded comments about how I should just give up on women and go “full gay.” There were a lot of problems in our relationship but something about me being bi she seemed to take personally.” – Harry, 29.
“One of the first girl I told had the response, verbatim, “well, at least it’s a little better than a pedophile.” like what the fuck? the stigma around bi men is real.” – Josh, 25.
“My girlfriend was also bi, so when I came out to her she came out to me! I think it didn’t change our sex life but it made us a lot more comfortable around each other. It was like the one fear we both had about the relationship being cleared up!” -Michael, 29.