You may not think that Ferris Bueller was actually onto something when he skipped out of school for a grand adventure — but if you ask most dating and sex experts, they’ll be quick to say that playing hooky may lead to something you really want: nooky. Why? Encouraging your girl to take some time off of work spontaneously while you do the same sends a clear message of how you’re prioritizing your relationship.
“Work can overrun our lives and minds. We often bring work home and find it hard to relax, unwind, and focus on being sexual,” say Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, co-authors of Designer Relationships, Partners in Passion. “Taking a day off to have a sexual adventure is a very romantic thing to do. It’s well-known that people tend to have more sex when on vacation, and taking a day off can be a mini-vacation.”
While you may be working on a big project at work or feel like you’re overwhelmed by your ever-growing to-do list, consider the effect it’s also having on your relationship and your connection to your girl. One day away from the office may make you anxious, but the benefits you’ll reap — and the sex you’ll have! — will make it worth it. Here’s why taking a random day off of work together can bring back your sexual fire and build intimacy:
Being spontaneous is sexy.
Let’s face it: no matter how invigorating your sex life is, redundancy sets in pretty quickly. Especially if you’re living together, you may have less hook-ups than you did when you were dating and you may miss that urgency that came with seeing each other a few times a week instead of every night. Michaels and Johnson say that taking a random day off, without planning anything, will force you both to be spontaneous together. Since you’re off work, morning sex doesn’t have to be rushed and you, ahem, do things from behind to avoid morning breath. You also can have an afternoon quickie if you’re in the mood — but do it somewhere unexpected, somewhere that’s not as busy at 2 P.M. (the gym anyone?).
You’ll both feel instantly naughty.
Even if your work environment is pretty relaxed, taking a day off when you don’t actually have a dentist appointment or you’re running a fever will make you anxious. If you live in a larger city, you may even worry about getting caught by a co-worker, friend or even your boss. Your girlfriend will feel the same and you’ll both thrive off of the risk factor. “You’ll both be on a mission to get away with something forbidden,” says Esther Boykin, a licensed love and relationship therapist. “This can really spice up the sexual activity and be a great way to alleviate the buildup of stress and pressure.”
You’ll feel closer.
It may not appear that obvious, but by teaming up to make sure no one ever knows you skipped out on work, you’ll build trust in one another. You’re keeping her secret, she’s keeping yours, and you’re spending the day doing whatever you want — but mostly, things you want to do as a couple. Maybe there’s a free museum that’s only free on weekdays and you’ve never been able to go. Or you simply want to take the car out and enjoy the wind and mild traffic of a midday cruise. The fact that you’re doing it together reminds her of how much you value her time and company.
You don’t have to plan a date night — and that’s a good thing.
While having a set date night is healthy for a long term relationship, it can also create a lot of intense pressure on the both of you to feel romantic, even when you’re not in the mood. The beauty of playing hooky is that the entire day is really a date, and a low-key one that lends itself to doing whatever you want. “Let the day unfold based on your desires and mood. Maybe you want to order in food and then have sex, or perhaps you'd rather head down to the kitchen and make some breakfast or lunch. Do you want to go out and see a movie and then come back and have sex?” Asks Boykin. “You can spend the entire day in bed — or not. Take a shower together — or maybe not. Make it a blend of your mutual desires. The sex, the activities, the food…the possibilities and combinations are endless and completely up to you and your partner. Let your desires dictate the day.”