You don’t need us to tell you that oral sex is super-fun, satisfying and well, sexy as hell. But what might surprise you is how unfulfilling a sex life without oral activities could really be. Overall, for your mental, physical and sexual health, making sure to set aside foreplay time to pleasure each other orally will maintain your connection and prosperity, individually and as a couple. No matter your limitations, most couples can find a way to make oral sex a leading component of their sexual routine and repertoire.
“Oral sex can improve a person’s or couple's sex life. For women, oral sex before intercourse allows the vaginal muscles to become looser and can increase natural lubrication. This is great for women experiencing vaginal tightness to prevent discomfort or injury during intercourse. Men experiencing erectile dysfunction can benefit from oral sex as well,” sex and relationship therapist, Courtney Geter, LMFT, CST explains.
“Behinds the pleasure, oral sex can help increase blood flow to the penis helping a man obtain a stronger erection. Oral sex could also help with delayed ejaculation by retraining the brain to enjoy sexual stimulation from a variety of methods. If a man is able to obtain an erection after ejaculation, it may also help extend the intercourse as well.”
But just like certain sex positions work for intercourse and some aren’t as enjoyable for either party, finding the best position will take some (fun!) trial and error. The important advice to remember is to be open and to communicate to one another about how you’re feeling, what it feels like and if you’re feeling turned on, or just awkward.
“There also are some oral sex positions that can make it feel safer or more comfortable, emotionally speaking, for one or both partners. If someone feels a little too exposed lying on their back with their legs splayed, they can try a position that keeps their body closer to their partner’s in a more connected or intimate way,” multi-certified sex educator and relationship coach, Anne Hodder says. “There are so many ways to enjoy the wonderful world of oral sex, so give yourself permission and feel free to experiment and find a configuration that feels right.”
Here, the top 10 oral sex positions you need to know about.
1. Woman Lying Down
What it is: Consider this the ‘missionary’ of cunnilingus, offering the most ease for oral sex action for both folks, since you’re both lying down. “This one makes it pretty easy for both partners to enjoy, especially if the receiver props their hips up on a pillow because it creates easier access to the giver. Because it doesn’t require much additional support or impact on joints, this is often considered one of the most comfortable positions, especially for those of us with sore or weaker body parts; plus the giver has easy access to the receivers chest and other sensitive areas while they’re going to town,” Hodder says.
How to do it: Sexpert, Coleen Singer says to make the magic, it’s pretty simple: “She simply lays on her stomach between the man’s legs as he lays on his back. Insert penis in mouth and enjoy his reaction.”
Pro tip: “Nipple stimulation triggers the same part of the brain as clitoral stimulation, so for some people, massaging both at the same time can entice stronger, more intense orgasms – and even if orgasms don't come, the sensation can feel mind-blowingly pleasurable,” Hodder says
Try this toy: “Dildos are great for a pleasantly ‘full’ sensation – the giver can prop themselves on their forearms so their hands have easy access to the vaginal opening. Simply hold and insert the dildo (gently or rough, depending on their preference!) into the receiver’s vagina – the vagina’s natural muscle contractions often will push the dildo out on its own, so all the giver really needs to do is catch it on its way out and push it back in while keeping in rhythm,” Hodder says.
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2. Woman Standing, Partner Kneeling
What it is: Singer says this is a more athletic approach to cunnilingus, but one that can be very sexy. Because she’ll feel more dominant, you can capitalize on that feeling by standing in front of the mirror while getting it on. “The receiver their hands to caress their partner’s head and hair and, with consent of course, adjust their head and press it deeper into their vulva,” Hodder says. “This requires some stamina for the giver. And if the receiver knows that she gets weak in the knees when she orgasms, she might want to have a chair or soft surface to tumble onto when she goes over the edge, orgasmically speaking.”
How to do it: “For this, it is recommended that she have one foot on the floor and the other foot elevated on the edge of the bed or a chair to provide him with better access. Again, make sure he is kneeling on a pillow to avoid rug burned knee,” Singer explains.
Pro tip: Hunter Riley, a sex educator says to really let loose in this position and enjoy all of benefits of this erotic oral sex position. “He can easily move his arms and body more freely than he could if he was laying on his belly, she can bear down and put pressure on the parts of his hand, mouth and toys that feel good for her,” she says.
Try this toy: “This is a great position for a vibrator with a long handle that she can hold, while he uses his hands and mouth from below to stimulate the labia and vaginal opening,” Riley says.
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3. Man Standing, Partner Kneeling
What it is: If porn is any indication, the most classic, beloved position for most men is watching a girl give him a blowjob while on her knees in front of him. “The benefit for him is that he has a great view of the action that is so popular in point of view porn. And, if both partners have consented to it, he can use his hand on the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. Not everyone likes that during oral sex, so make sure to check in first and see if everyone is a ‘yes’ to that,” Riley says. “This is a nice position for her because it often leaves her neck nice and long, which is ideal for deep-throating, not gagging.”
How to do it: Just as it sounds: a man can be sitting down or standing up, on the edge of a bed, or in the shower, and a woman becomes submissive, as she kneels and pleasures him.
Pro tip: “Be sure to add in lots of eye contact to enhance the experiment” Singer recommends. She also notes that for some couples, ejaculating on her chest, aka a "pearl necklace," is also a nice kinky variation on this position. Just be sure that she has something comfortable to kneel on to avoid the mistake of rug burn, she concludes.
Try this toy: “This is a really great position to use a butt plug in especially if you partner stands with his legs a bit wide. If you're using a plug for prostate stimulation, you'll want to use one with a curve that goes towards the stomach for ideal stimulation,” Riley notes.
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4. Woman Sitting On Her Partner's Face
What it is: Otherwise known as ‘Queening’ – this is a very dominant position for a woman and one that often, turns a man on once he’s tried it once or twice. “This position is best for givers who have sore necks or trouble maintaining a face-down position, because it lets them lie on their backs without having to move much. The giver has the option of staying relatively still with their mouth and tongue open and accessible (don’t forget to keep the saliva flowing) as their partner grinds or sways the way they like,” Hodder explains. “The receiver has the added benefit of being able to ‘ride’ their partner – though they have to stay steady on their knees for long enough – and use their hips to gyrate and swivel to keep their own beat and follow their natural rhythm. This also makes it easy to do our own adjusting without having to ask our partner to move a little to the left; we can simply make the shift ourselves.”
How to do it: In a position that feels comfortable for both, simply lie flat on your back. Then, your lady will kneel over your face, as you pleasure her.
Pro tip: “Just be careful to establish a safe word or gesture in case you are not getting enough air as this position can lead to asphyxiation which is considered ‘edge play’ and can lead to passing out or even death if not done carefully,” Singer says.
Try this toy: “This is a great position for her to apply nipple clamps to him for a little extra sensory stimulation,” Singer recommends.
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5. Man Sitting On His Partner's Face
What it is: On the other side of the coin, you can make your way from missionary, up to her mouth to get a little dip before returning to intercourse. “This can be super-hot and super-sexy for both partners, though it does take some finesse. The giver needs to prop their head to an angle that not only feels comfortable without neck pain, but also allows for enough of their partner’s penis to enter to make it feel good. And maneuvering around teeth can be a little tough in this position, so pay extra attention to the angle with which the penis is sliding in — nothing kills the mood faster than grazing against a molar,” Hodder recommends.
How to do it: This one is pretty much how it sounds: “In this position the woman lays with her head face up off the edge of the bed and the rest of her body laying on the bed. The man rests his knees on the edge of the bed, and then brings his genitals so that they are hovering right near her face and mouth, Riley instructs.
Pro tip: “This is a pretty kinky one as really the only thing that she can perform on him is analingus or tea-bagging with her tongue. If you plan to try this one, it is recommended that the man clean out with an enema prior to beginning the sex session,” Singer says.
Try this toy: “This is a great position for a penis sleeve that is open on both ends because your hands are right there to stimulate the shaft. And if you both are a "yes" to it, you can use a small, flat vibrator on the perineum or even a good butt plug for prostate stimulation,” Riley recommends.
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6. The 69
What it is: If you’ve ever watched any porno ever then you probably already know what a 69 is. Classic, tried and true, the dual-pleasure of a 69 can make it surprisingly intimate — and incredibly sexy. “The classic 69 is where the man lies on his back and woman straddles him though facing his penis. The couple engage in oral sex at the same time. This position is ideal if a couple would like to attempt coming together or as close as possible,” Geter explains.
“This position also prevents the woman from using her hands as she needs to support herself. On the other hand, it does allow the man to use his hands to provide extra stimulation for her. There are a few variations of 69 including the couple switching positions where she is on bottom and he is on top. This allows the woman a break from supporting her body and frees up her hands so she can provide extra stimulation while giving.”
How to do it: “You can do 69 by having one partner lie on their back with their legs separated and opening a bit. The other partner climbs on top and puts their genitals near their partner's face while they put their head in between the laying down partner's legs,” Riley instructs.
Pro tip: Ever find yourself getting so, um, distracted while receiving that you can’t quite, give in the way that you’d want to? Hunter says that’s common (and of course, to be expected). But to get around it? She suggests: “One way to avoid that over-stimulation is to take turns asking for what you want, and the resting partner still gets an A+ view while they're being stimulated.”
Try this toy: One way to spice up this move is with some edible lubricant, that will make moving together easier. Or body oil, if you want to shy away from anything on your genitals and mouth.
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7. Sideways 69
What it is: Instead of being on top of one another, which can be pretty taxing after a while, you can try the sideways 69, or as some call ‘the lazy 69.’ “Sideways 69 is another variation of 69 where the couple are lying on their sides instead of one on top and one on bottom. This position can relieve stress from supporting body weight, especially if both have current medical conditions around knee or back problems. Just be careful with your legs! You may have to figure out a comfortable leg position before getting into the act to ensure safety and prevent injury and a trip to the plastic surgeon,” Geter notes.
How to do it: Just like the regular 69, except that you both lay on your side. Think of making a ying and a yang.
Pro tip: Enjoy the comfort, Riley says. If you’ve both had a rough day, but you both want to get off, it can be a gentle way to engage in intercourse and get yourselves in the mood when you’re almost there, but not quite.
Try this toy: This is a great position to add in sex toys such as vibrators or dildos used on her during cunnilingus, Singer recommends.
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8. Upside-Down 69
What it is: Geter calls this a variation on queening – and notes that it’s kind of an advanced move, so proceed with caution. “This move is not for the faint of heart! The man is standing and holding the woman upside down. Typically, she would get into a handstand position and he would then pick her up and support her. The man, especially, needs a very strong and stable core including abs, back, and glute muscles. The woman would also need a strong core to protect her muscles. I would also suggest this position for those without any current or prior injury. I also suggest putting a soft pad or cushion on the ground just in case the woman slips,” she explains.
How to do it: If your girl can’t quite do a headstand, there are other options. Singer gives the lowdown: “In this, the man puts his feet aloft on the bed’s headboard while the woman squats over his face for cunnilingus.”
Pro tip: Hunter says not to take it so seriously, but sure, give it a try if you can: “This is a position you might see in porn, but if does rely on one partner holding the other one upside down and hoping to position each others genitals in just the right place, basically, near mouths.”
Try this toy: For this one, consider a sex pillow, to make the fall from your comical headstand a bit less dramatic.
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9. Sideways Oral
What it is: In this one, you’re lying vertical and she’s lying horizontal, making for what Riley calls ‘the right angle’ position. Why? “depending on the shape of the penis and the mouth of woman, this might be a great position for deep throating. Some penises are going to ‘go down’ easier if they are at a specific angle, so I always recommend trying blowjobs from different angles to see if there's a specific fit for your penis and her mouth,” she explains. “This position can feel good for him because her lips and be tight around the shaft of his penis, from a different angle, which sometimes feels really good on the head of the penis. This might be a more comfortable position for her to experiment with deep thraoting and controlling her gag reflex.”
How to do it: On a bed (or the floor, if you prefer), lay horizontal. Then, your girlfriend, with her head near your shaft, lays vertical on her stomach. Then? She gets to town.
Pro tip: “The man could lie or lean back and let her do all the work and enjoy the show, or he could add thrusting movement for different stimulation and sensation,” Geter suggests.
Try this toy: For this one, you could use a butt plug on her while she pleasures you, if she’s into it. Just make sure to let her control the speed and the rhythm, so she doesn’t accidentally get surprised and ya know, bite down on something you’d rather she didn’t.
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10. Elevated Cunnilingus
What it is: The goal with this one is to raise your lady’s hips above your face, this creates a different sensation that will help her reach orgasm faster. It also allows her to sit down, which can be more comfortable , depending on where she is and how much access you have to her most sensitive area.
How to do it: The name is self-explanatory, but for a step-by-step guide: “Elevated cunnilingus is where the woman's hips/pelvis are elevated above the man's head such as her sitting on a kitchen counter and him kneeling or squatting for access, her sitting on a chair or couch and, again, him kneeling on the floor, or she is lying back on the bed with her bottom at the edge of the bed and he is kneeling on the floor,” Geter explains.
Pro tip: Singer says to be a little risky with this one: “This is one that is great for getting it on in public, because you don’t need a nice cushy surface to lie down on. All you need is the hood of a car, a large rock, or park wall to get her above him,” she notes.
Try this toy: If you wanted to get extra playful, you could use a clitoris stimulator along with your tongue for super-intense action.
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11. Doggy Style Oral
What it is: Thought your favorite sex position was just for intercourse? Think again. “Doggy-style oral is where the woman is in doggy-style position and the man is behind her. However, unlike the doggy-style intercourse position where the woman can be on hands and knees while he inserts his penis, it is recommended that she lower herself to her elbows in order to elevate her hips for him to have better access,” Geter says.
How to do it: In addition to the playful way above, Geter says you can always modify the position to be more comfortable and give you access to other areas. “ if the couple has access to a surface that elevates her higher than him, she could remain on all fours. Another suggestion is she get on hand and knees at the edge of the bed and he is kneeling on the floor. This might work better for a taller woman with longer legs. This position allows the woman more control of her hips to change the sensation as well as frees the man's hands for extra stimulation while giving,” she says.
Pro tip: Do this one after you’ve had sex a few times and you’re in a playful mood. It might be tricky to get into and might not even work, but it’s worth the go!
Try this toy: “If this position is used for analingus on her, it’s a great one to add in a sex toy for vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation,” Singer recommends.
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