Partying as a couple: it almost sounds like an oxymoron. Partying represents freedom, liberation and operating without any cares, whereas a relationship sets boundaries. So how do you party together and not have it become a wedge between you?
To get the answers, we sought out the party king himself: Andrew W.K.. The musician who has created a long lineup of party anthems has ventured into the dance world and has another hit on his hands. Partnering with Timmy Trumpet and EDM superstar MAKJ, their collaboration “Party ‘Till We Die” has been a catchy anthem on the rise. We caught up with Andrew W.K. and MAKJ to get a guide on partying as a couple.
Can you party as a couple and have as much fun as you do when you party alone?
Andrew W.K.: You can look at it a couple of ways. In some ways, you do lose a bit of freedom but as you get older, you might realize that you’ve met someone pretty cool — maybe a soulmate — so you’re getting released from the endless pursuit of going out and trying to meet new people. So now you get to put your energy into building something that’s longer lasting and a bit more meaningful.
The general perception is that partying represents freedom whereas relationships kind of represent a little bit of locking down.
MAKJ: Look, here’s the thing. The number one mentality as guys nowadays is go out, have a few drinks and try to take home a girl. That’s the game plan. But you know what, going out with your boys and turning that thinking off — in other words, just going out and having a great time with your close friends — to me, that’s such a better time than going for something that you probably won’t get.
It's 2 A.M. and you should turn down and go home to be with your significant other — but your friends want you to keep partying. Is there any cool way to bow out gracefully?
Andrew W.K. : They’re your boys, so they want you to hang around, but on the other hand, if they’re close friends, they’ll understand. You shouldn’t need an excuse or a way to ease out.
MAKJ: Yeah it’s pretty simple in my view: if you’re around the guys that get you and know who you are as a man, they’re going to understand. If they’re not good friends, they’re going to call you a pussy, say you’re “locked in” and pussy whipped.
You're at the party and a friend of a friend you've never met before starts getting a little flirtatious. Do you go with it up to a point, or do you cut it off right from the beginning?
Andrew W.K. : If you’re in a committed relationship, then you don’t want to pursue anything.
But nowadays, the boundaries of a relationship are such a grey area. When you’re just “seeing someone” or if you haven’t had the commitment talk, do you freelance? Maybe get a number just in case?
MAKJ: It’s funny because when guys are taken, other girls have that primal nature that now I want him even more because he’s taken. Now you’re a challenge and they love the chase. But look, you have to evaluate where you’re at. Nobody wants to be a dick but if you’re in a relationship and you like the girl that you’re committed to, then you’re going to have to throw up that red flag. Just know what you are going to say, and think three seconds before you say it because it can always lead to something bad.
Houston Tonight! @clehouston ???
How do you party and feel comfortable about your partner and not worry about cheating?
Andrew W.K. : Dating is tricky these days. Everyone plays by different dating rules, so don’t assume anything. Some people are monogamous from the get-go while other date as many people as possible until you have “that conversation.” Have the conversation at the start so that everyone is clear.
MAKJ: Everyone views relationships differently, but for me, if I’m not 110% committed, I don’t think it’s worth it. I used to go out with the same mentality as most guys: go out and try to hook up. And then the booze comes into play, the drugs, the emotions and it just amplifies that mentality. So if you’re going to date someone that you’re not fully committed to, then that’s what’s going to come out and it’s going to cause problems. For me, whenever anyone has the excuses about cheating from partying, that’s all it is: excuses. So if you’re not 100% down to be with the girl that you’re with, there’s really no point.
What’s the best part of partying as a couple?
Andrew W.K. : I never did well meeting strangers, so my favorite part of partying as a couple was that I didn’t need to strike up conversation from scratch. If you’ve ever had to go out and meet new people on your own, you would understand. It can be a bit of an awkward situation. If you’re already out at a party with someone you know, it takes that pressure off.
Many of us have those nerves in a public setting where we don’t know anyone. But if you have your girl with you, it changes the whole dynamic. You’re not there to meet people, so there’s no pressure. You’re simple there to have a good time.
MAKJ: Exactly. My favorite thing about partying together is sharing the memories. I’m in relationship right now and one thing that I’ve loved about it is sharing the memories. When you’re single, you go out and party and its fun, but in a relationship, you experience things together. It’s just sharing the memories and looking back on them together, remembering that it was an amazing time. And then thinking about it like it was just yesterday.
Does joint intoxication lead to dirty sex?
Andrew W.K. : Everyone knows that in the early stages of a relationship, some alcohol can help lead to lowering inhibitions, calming some nerves and encouraging fearlessness. And sometimes that helps you meet someone or get with a partner you normally wouldn’t have, so it can be good in that sense.
PARTY STARTER KIT… (Thanks to Kerri for sending this in)
But in a longer term relationship, I don’t know that the intoxication would add very much — it might even take away. You don’t perform as well, get tired faster and lose your edge. It can also dull your senses, so you might not appreciate what’s going on.
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